B1012 <=> B1014 [BTG XLII Beelzebub in America, p. 1013]

“’”Eh! old dear!”

“’By the way, I must tell you that it is common among the beings of this group there, after the second glass of genuine Russian vodka, to call their acquaintances by various pet names such as “old dear,” “my Zapoopoonchik,” “my potbellied beauty,” “eh, my little brown jug,” and so on and so forth.

“’And so this worthy genuine Orthodox Christian, addressing me as “old dear,” said:

“’”Never mind, old dear! We shall soon be having Lent and then we shall feast together on real Russian dishes.

“’”To tell the truth, here in Russia we almost always eat the same things during the ‘meat’ periods.

“’”But it is quite a different story during the fasts, especially during Lent.

“’”Not a day passes but one is privileged to see some of the most tasty dishes.

“’”You know what, old dear?

“’”I made the other day a remarkably interesting ‘discovery’ on this subject.

“’”This new discovery of mine is miles above the discovery of that old codger Copernicus, who when he was once lying dead-drunk on the ground clearly sensed, it seems, that the Earth goes round.

“’”Ah! What a marvel! What a discovery!

“’”In our own mother Moscow alone, hundreds of thousands of such discoveries are probably made every day.

“’”No! . . . My discovery is a real one and exceedingly instructive and substantial.

“’”This discovery of mine is that we have all been complete fools and hopeless idiots ever to have imagined and been fairly convinced that for the host of good, varied, and most tasty dishes during Lent we are indebted to the famous art of our chefs and cooks.