B898 <=> B900 [BTG XLI The bokharian dervish, p. 899]

“’To this day I cannot recall without a shudder that moment when our physicians told me that my mother could not live more than one day.

“’Then in that terrible state of mind, the first question that arose in me was: How shall I go on living?

“’What further happened to me afterwards and what occurred I have also more or less told you.

“’In a word, when I became absorbed in the science of vibrations, I gradually found for myself a new divinity.

“’This science took the place of my mother for me and in the course of many years has proved just as sustaining, true, and faithful as my own mother had been to me, and until today I have lived and been animated only by its truths alone.

“’Until now there has not yet been a single instance in which in their manifestations, the truths I have discovered concerning the laws of vibrations have failed to yield those precise results I expected.

“’But today for the first time it has happened that the results I confidently expected were not obtained.

“’My chief terror is that today I was more than ever careful in the calculations of the vibrations required for the given case, that is to say, I accurately calculated that the proposed boil should be formed on your body in just that place and in no other.

“’And here the unprecedented has happened. Not only is it not in the designated place, but it has not even been formed on any part of your body at all.

“’This science which until now has taken the place of my faithful mother, has today for the first time failed me, and in me at the present moment, there is indescribable grief.

“’For today, I can still reconcile myself to this exceedingly great misfortune of mine, but what will be tomorrow – I cannot even picture to myself.