B931 <=> B933 [BTG XLII Beelzebub in America, p. 932]

“So, having felt the inconvenience, I made up my mind to learn this peculiar ‘conversational English’ of theirs also.

“On the third day after my arrival there, as I was on my way to my newly acquainted Mister specially ask him to recommend me a teacher for this ‘English tongue,’ I suddenly saw reflected on the sky, by projectors, an ‘American advertisement’ with the words:

’School of Languages by the System

of Mr. Chatterlitz

13 North 293rd Street’

“The languages and the times when they were taught were set forth and, of the ‘American English language’ in particular, it was stated, among other things, that it could be learned in from five minutes to twenty-four hours.

“At first I could not make head or tail of it, but I decided all the same to go the next morning to the address indicated.

“When the next day I found this Mr. Chatterlitz, he received me himself in person, and when he heard that I wished to learn the ‘American English language’ by his system, he explained to me first of all that this conversational language could be learned by his system in three forms, each form corresponding to some special requirement.

“’The first form, he said, ‘is the conversational language for a man who is obliged to earn here among us our American dollars.

“’The second form is required for a man who, although not in need of our dollars, nevertheless likes to do dollar business and furthermore, in order that in his social relations with our Americans everybody will think that he is not “just a nobody” but a real “gentleman” with an English upbringing.