B556 <=> B558 (BTG XXXI Last sojourn to Earth, p. 557)

“Although this restaurant was some way away, yet nevertheless I ordered the chauffeur to go there, as I knew of no other ‘doctor.’

“At length, in half an hour, we came to this restaurant and there I very soon found this ‘doctor.’

“Once again, this time, he turned out not to be a ‘physician’ but . . . ‘a doctor of jurisprudence.’

“I was completely, as is said there, ‘in the soup.’

“At last it entered my head that I might address myself to the headwaiter of the restaurant and explain to him in detail what I required.

“This headwaiter turned out to be a very kind being. He not only explained to me what had to be done, but even went with me to a certain physician, this time called a ‘doctor-accoucheur.’

“We found him by chance at home and he was kind enough to agree to go with me at once. But while we were on the way, my poor neighbor had already brought forth a boy, her first-born, and having somehow swaddled the baby without anyone’s help, was already sound asleep after the terrible torments she had borne in solitude.

“And so, from that day I have with my whole being hated the sound of the word ‘doctor,’ and to each of the beings of the planet Earth I would advise him to use this word only when he is very angry.

“That you may the better understand the significance of the contemporary physicians on your planet, it is also necessary to tell you of the saying of our highly esteemed Mullah Nassr Eddin concerning these same contemporary physicians.

“He speaks of them thus: ‘For our sins, God has sent us two kinds of physicians, one kind to help us die, and the other to prevent us living.’”