That schools existed I did not doubt. But at the same time I became convinced that the schools I heard about and with which I could have come into contact were not for me. They were schools of either a frankly religious nature or of a half-religious character, but definitely devotional in tone. These schools did not attract me, chiefly because if I had been seeking a RELIGIOUS WAY I could have found it in Russia. Other schools were of a slightly sentimental moral-philosophical type with a shade of asceticism, like the schools of the disciples or followers of Ramakrishna; there were nice people connected with these schools, but I did not feel theyhad real knowledge. Others which are usually described as “yogi schools” and which are based on the creation of trance states had, in my eyes, something of the nature of “spiritualism.” I could not trust them; all their achievements were either self-deception or what the Orthodox mystics (I mean in Russian monastic literature) called “beauty,” or allure-ment. Fragments: One

“In schools of the RELIGIOUS WAY ‘obedience’ is demanded before anything else, that is, full and unquestioning submission although without understanding. Schools of the fourth way demand understanding before anything else. Results of efforts are always proportional to understanding. Fragments: Eight

“The second way is the way of the monk, the RELIGIOUS WAY, the way of people number two, that is, of emotional people. The mind and the body should not be too strong. Fragments: Fifteen

“A man, if he is hungry, has a chance to come into contact with the beginning of a way. But besides hunger still other ‘rolls’ are necessary. Otherwise a man will not see the way. Imagine that an educated European, that is, a man who knows nothing about religion, comes into touch with the possibility of a RELIGIOUS WAY. He will see ‘nothing and he will understand nothing. For him it will be stupidity and superstition. But at the same time he may have a great hunger though formulated intellectually. It is exactly the same thing for a man who has never heard of yoga methods, of the development of consciousness and so on. For him, if he comes into touch with a yoga way, everything he hears will be dead. The fourth way is still more difficult. In order to give the fourth way a right valuation a man must have thought and felt and been disappointed in many things beforehand. He ought, if not actually to have tried the way of the fakir, the way of the monk, and the way of the yogi previously, at least to have known and thought about them and to be convinced that they are no good for him. It is not necessary to understand what I say literally. This thinking process can be unknown to the man himself. But the results of this process must be in him and only they can help him to recognize the fourth way. Otherwise he can stand very near to it and not see it Fragments: Seventeen

This was a very strange “observation” but it was absolutely a right one. I had nothing to say against G.’s methods except that they did not suit me. A very clear example came to my mind then. I had never had a negative attitude towards the “way of the monk,” to religious, mystical ways. At the same time I could never have thought for one moment that such a way was possible for me or suitable. And so, if after three years of work I perceived that G. was leading us in fact towards the way of religion, of the monastery, and required the observance of all religious forms and ceremonies, there would be of course a motive for disagreeing with this and for going away, even though at the risk of losing direct leadership. And certainly this would not, at the same time, mean that I considered the RELIGIOUS WAY a wrong way in general. It may even be a more correct way than my way but it is not my way. Fragments: Eighteen