Yes, I think you might as well be told also about an idea which has only just arisen in my madcap brain, and namely, specially to request the printer, to whom I shall give my first book, to print this first chapter of my writings in such a way that anybody may read it before cutting the pages of the book itself, whereupon, on learning that it is not written in the usual manner, that is to say, for helping to produce in one’s mentation, very smoothly and easily, exciting images and lulling reveries, he may, if he wishes, without wasting words with the bookseller, return it and get his money back, money perhaps earned by the sweat of his own brow. BTG I

In this display, he noticed one “fruit”, very beautiful in both color and form, and its appearance so took his fancy and he so longed to try it, that i spite of his having scarcely any money, he decided to buy without fail at least one of these gifts of Great Nature, and taste it. BTG I

After what you have just perceived, I hope there may already be arising in your mentation a corresponding mental association which should, as a result, effectuate in you, as it sometimes happens to contemporary people, that which you call, in general, understanding, and that in the present case you will understand just why I, well knowing and having many a time commiserated with this human inherency, the inevitable manifestation of which is that if anybody pays money for something, he is bound to use it to the end, was animated in the whole of my entirety with the idea, arisen in my mentation, to take every possible measure in order that you, as is said “my brother in appetite and in spirit” — in the event of your proving to be already accustomed to reading books, though of all kinds, yet nevertheless only those written exclusively in the aforesaid “language of the intelligentsia” — having already paid money for my writings and learning only afterwards that they are not written in the usual convenient and easily read language, should not be compelled as a consequence of the said human inherency, to read my writings through to the end at all costs, as our poor Transcaucasian Kurd was compelled to go on with his eating of what he had fancied for its appearance alone — that “not to be joked with” noble red pepper. BTG I

“But fortunately or unfortunately for this writer, it happened that certain ‘power possessing ‘ beings of that great community in which he existed had just been having rotten luck at what is called ‘roulette ‘ and ‘baccarat ‘ and they therefore kept on demanding what they called ‘money ‘ from the ordinary beings of their community, whereupon, thanks to these inordinate demands for money, the ordinary beings of that community at length awoke from their usual what is called torpor and ‘began-to-sit-up ‘. BTG XII

“And this occurred because some of the power-possessing beings of this community, usually with pockets full of money, still continued in their turn to go to other communities, where ‘roulette ‘ and ‘baccarat ‘ proceeded, and carrying on their discussion there concerning this writer, they gradually infected the beings of other communities also with this affair. BTG XII

“And when the earlier policy of King Appolis towards his subjects had been re-established, then the citizens of this community resumed filling the treasury with money as usual and carrying out the directions of their King, and the affairs of the community settled again into the former already established tempo. BTG XV

“I therefore immediately hired several suitable beings for a great sum of money and, unbeknown to anybody else, had his planetary body removed and temporarily placed in my Selchan, that is, on my raft which was moored not far away on the river Oksoseria, and which I had not disposed of because I had intended to sail on it from there to the sea Kolhidious to our ship Occasion. BTG XIX

“The beings who were addicted to this passion almost ceased to work; the flow of what is called money into the communal treasury entirely ceased and the ultimate ruin of the community seemed to be inevitable. BTG XX

“‘What’s analysis?’ he replied sarcastically, though also with a kind smile. ‘A thorough analysis of a single powder would cost so much that, with this money, you could buy not only half a hundredweight of this powder, but possibly even open a whole pharmacy with it; so it is understandable that, for three or five kopecks, nobody is likely to be such a fool. BTG XXXI

For example, here in Europe, if some, let us say painter, happens to paint at some time or other a good picture, and he becomes famous, then ever afterwards, no matter what trash he may produce, the public will always pay a great deal of money for that trash, simply because it is said to be the work of that “famous” painter. BTG XXXVII

“And so, my boy, in both of these cases, because their future rulers of the two large many-millioned communities went to the continent of Europe quite young and had not yet at all become aware of their responsibility, but chiefly thanks to this that they were provided with money from the said source, the existence of the beings there on the continent of Europe was absorbed and permanently crystallized in them as so ‘splendiferous and beneficial’ that when afterwards, on account of the abnormally established conditions of existence in their country, they became leaders of these many-millioned communities, they, like the Russian Czar, could not help aiming to make the existence of their compatriots, to their bobtailed notions, happy as well. BTG XXXVIII

“It is not for nothing that our highly esteemed Hadji Nassr Eddin says: ‘What is most important is to have plenty of money, and then even our Nammus may creak’. BTG XXXVIII

“‘When we finally handed over our original zimbal to our Sheikh and told him what interested us most of all at that moment, he not only gave us his blessing to leave the monastery for a while for our purpose to occupy ourselves with the question which interested us, but even put at our disposal a large sum of money from the resources accumulated in the monastery. BTG XLI

“‘”I must tell you that I made all these deductions from the experiments I was enabled to conduct over a period of many years, thanks to two good philanthropic men, namely, to the rich shepherd Alla Ek Linakh and his money, and to the scientist we all respect, El Koona Nassa, with his remarkable invention the apparatus ‘Arostodesokh’. BTG XLII

“‘The chief occupation in the clubs consists of reading together forbidden books procured by one of the pupils. They chiefly read one very rare manuscript, obtained with money raised by a general institute subscription, wherein is expounded in detail the whole of the teaching of the famous poetess Sappho’. BTG XLII

“In the course of observations during my last sojourn there I cleared up, among other things, that the beings with objective Reason do not happen to be in these societies for the following reasons: “The point is that in order to participate in any society whatsoever, a being must always of necessity be important and such a being there among them, thanks once again to the abnormally established conditions of being-existence, can only be one who either has a great deal of money or who becomes what is called ‘famous’ among the other beings there. BTG XLIII

“It was further conveyed in the same etherogram that the power-possessing beings of the community Russia had applied to the beings of another European community to undertake the destruction of the existence of those small beings — mice and rats — which had multiplied among them, in return for which they promised to pay them as much money as it would cost. BTG XLIII

“Though a temporary reduction of the numbers of these poor rats and mice may be obtained by the various means at the disposal of those specialists in the destruction of the existences of others, yet the beings of the other communities will possibly not quite consent to do this ‘gratis’. To pay in money, however, this the beings of that Russia who promised it will, of course, not be able to do, since it might cost them in money much more than their last war. BTG XLIII

“And to get money from the same sources from which they drained it during that great process, as our dear Mullah Nassr Eddin says, ‘As to this, nothing doing! Even a donkey can understand that peasant flesh costs nothing in peacetime’”. BTG XLIII

“Although after brief negotiations he agreed to show it to me, yet he did not wish to sell it for any money at all; nevertheless, as a result of my talks and persuasions of several days, he allowed me to make an alabaster copy of it which I took away with me. BTG XLIV

To gratify these weaknesses of his, he always steals a part of the money given him by his employer to buy fodder for the horse. BTG XLVIII

“You have plenty of money, luxurious conditions of existence, and universal esteem and respect. At the head of your well-established concerns are people absolutely reliable and devoted to you; in a word, your life is a bed of roses. BTG XLVIII

But not a master in that sense and meaning which this word conveys to contemporary people, namely, one who has many slaves and much money, handed down, in most cases, by inheritance, but in the sense that a given man, thanks to his, in the objective sense, devout acts towards those around him — that is to say, acts manifested by him according to the dictates of his pure Reason alone, without the participation of those impulses which in him as in all people are engendered from the mentioned consequences of the properties of the maleficent organ Kundabuffer — acquires in himself that something which of itself constrains all those about him to bow before him and with reverence carry out his orders. BTG XLVIII