And so, cheerful and swaggering candidate for a buyer of my wiseacrings, having warned you that I am going to write not as “professional writers” usually write but quite otherwise, I advise you, before embarking on the reading of my further expositions, to reflect seriously and only then to undertake it. If not, I am afraid for your hearing and other perceptive and also digestive organs which may be already so thoroughly automatized to the “literary language of the intelligentsia” existing in the present period of time on Earth, that the reading of these writings of mine might affect you very, very cacophonously, and from this you might loose your… you know what? … your appetite for your favorite dish and for your psychic specificness which particularly titillates your “inside” and which proceeds in you on seeing your neighbor, the brunette. BTG I

“This association then arose in my mentation chiefly because I had long before heard a great deal about the rare peculiarities of those parts of the nature of that peculiar planet through which the proposed route of the caravan lay, and in consequence, what is called a ‘being-love-of-knowledge’ which was already crystallized in me, having received a shock for functioning from all that had been overheard, immediately dictated to my common presence the need to be persuaded of everything personally, directly through my own perceptive organs. BTG XXI

At this point of Beelzebub’s tales, he was given a “Leitoochanbros”, that is, a special metal plate on which is recorded the text of an etherogram received from somewhere or other, the addressee having only to hold it to his perceptive hearing organ to hear everything communicated in it. BTG XXIII

“Meanwhile know, concerning this question, that in general, everywhere on normally existing planets of our Great Universe, the Exioëhary formed in the presence of a three-brained being who has perceptive and transformative organs for localizing the holy affirming part of the sacred Triamazikamno, that is to say, a Keschapmartnian being of the male sex, can, owing to the just mentioned cosmic law, never be blended with the Exioëhary formed in the presence of a Keschapmartnian two-brained being of the opposite sex. BTG XXIII

“For your understanding of how the learned beings there of that group made their indications in the ‘musical’ and ‘vocal’ productions of theirs, I must first explain to you about certain special particularities of the perceptive organ of hearing in the common presences of every kind of being. BTG XXX

“The second particularity of the functioning of the perceptive organ of hearing is that in general, by the action of vibrations obtained from the sequence of sounds of every kind of melody, the association is usually evoked in the presences of the beings in one or another of the three brains, just in that brain in which at the given moment what is called ‘the-momentum-of-what-was-experienced’ is increasing more intensively, and the sequence of the impulses evoked for experiencing usually proceeds in an automatic order. BTG XXX

“This relatively independent totality of cosmic substances named there on the Earth water, being in itself one might say, a ‘natural mechanical mixture’, can be preserved exclusively only in conditions of conjunction with common Nature. If the connection of this water with common Nature is cut, that is to say, if a little of this water is taken out of a river and kept separately in a vessel, then after a certain time the water in this vessel inevitably begins to be gradually destroyed, or as it might otherwise be said, to decompose, and this process, to the perceptive organs of beings, usually smells very ‘malodorously’, or, as your favorites would say, this water soon ‘stinks’. BTG XLII

“Even their weight did not diminish. Only after five months did its harmful effect begin to be evident in the common presence of a being in the gradual weakened functioning of certain perceptive organs and of tee manifestations of their so to say ableness and sensitiveness. For example, their voices would grow weaker, and their sight, hearing, and so on, worse. Furthermore, in several of them from the beginning of the derangement of these being-functions, changes were observed in their common psychic state. BTG XLII

“Having said this with a perceptive impulse of heartfelt grief, he paused a while to puff at his cigarette mixed with ‘Tambak’, and, taking this opportunity, I asked him as follows: “‘Well, all right . . . let us assume I have more or less understood your explanation of your inexcusable drunkenness, and can put myself in your position, but what do you say about your other, and, from my point of view, also inexcusable vice, namely, your “petticoat drooling”? “‘Why! You run after every petticoat if only it hangs about someone with long hair!’ BTG XLII

The structure of these perceptive apparatuses is the same in all the parts of the mechanism. BTG XLVIII