“And as for the objective reality of the theories of both these ‘great’ terrestrial ‘learned beings’, I am reminded of one of the wise sayings of our esteemed Mullah Nassr Eddin, namely: “‘They were both very successful, though of course not without luck, in finding the authentic godmother of the incomparable Scheherazade on an old dunghill’. BTG XXIII

“Just now there are several theories about the matter there, which although they have nothing in common with each other and are each in an objective sense more absurd than the other, are nevertheless accepted there by what is called ‘official-knowledge’. BTG XXIV

“Every possible kind of fantastic theory existed in Babylon upon this question; and more and more theories were being freshly cooked up; and every, as it is said there, ‘catchy theory’ had, of course, its followers. BTG XXIV

“Although whole hosts of these various theories existed there, nevertheless they were one and all based upon only two, but two quite opposite assumptions. BTG XXIV

“All the dualistic theories maintained the existence of the soul, and of course its ‘immortality’, and every possible kind of ‘perturbation’ to it after the death of the being ‘man’. BTG XXIV

“And all the atheistic theories maintained just the opposite. BTG XXIV

“He was agitated and perplexed by the fact that both the already existing and the many newly appearing theories upon this question were all, in spite of their entirely contradictory proofs, equally convincing and equally plausible. BTG XXIV

“He said that those theories in which it was proved that we have a soul were very logically and convincingly expounded; and, likewise, those theories in which quite the contrary was proved were expounded no less logically and convincingly. BTG XXIV

“So that you may be able to put yourself in the place of that sympathetic Assyrian, I shall also explain to you that in general on your planet, then in the city of Babylon as well as at the present time, all the theories on such a question as they call it of ‘the beyond’, or any other ‘elucidation-of-details’ of any definite ‘fact’, are invented by those three-brained beings there in whom most of the consequences of the properties of the organ Kundabuffer are completely crystallized, in consequence of which there actively functions in their presence, that being-property, which they themselves call ‘cunning’. Owing to this, they consciously — of course consciously only with the sort of reason which it has already become long ago proper for them alone to possess — and moreover, merely automatically, gradually acquire in their common presence, the capacity for ‘spotting’ the weakness of the psyche of the surrounding beings like themselves; and this capacity gradually forms in them data which enables them at times to sense and even to understand the peculiar logic of the beings around them, and according to these data, they invent and propound one of their ‘theories’ concerning this or that question; and because, as I have already told you, in most of the three-brained beings there, owing to the abnormal conditions of ordinary being-existence established there by them themselves, the being-function called ‘instinctively-to-sense-cosmic-truths’ gradually atrophies, then, if any one of them happens to devote himself to the detailed study of any one of these ‘theories’, he is bound, whether he wishes or not, to be persuaded by it with the whole of his presence. BTG XXIV

“The reporters who preceded him either reported upon new ‘theories’ they had invented or they criticized theories already existing and known to everybody. BTG XXIV

“‘During this time, I have very attentively and seriously followed all the old and new theories about the “soul” and there is not a single theory with the author of which I do not inwardly agree, since all of them are very logically and plausibly expounded, and such Reason as I have cannot but agree with their logic and plausibility. BTG XXIV

“And all this only thanks to the fact that these ‘sorry-learned-beings-of-new-formation’ cooked up their Hasnamussian theories concerning this distressing state of theirs. BTG XXXII

“None of the theories now current among them concerning this question of hypnotism even approximate in the least to reality. BTG XXXII

“In order that you may, so to say, ‘illuminatingly project’ the essence of your contemporary favorites. and in view of the fact that the causes of the arising of various misunderstandings — widely spread among certain of your favorites — in the sphere of this branch of knowledge there, are very characteristic and might serve you as excellent material in general for the representation and valuation of the sense and objective significance of all other contemporary separate independent branches of their what is called ‘exact science’, I consider it necessary to explain to you in greater detail which theories concerning the ‘vibrations of sound’ are studied and, as it were, are known by these mentioned contemporary terrestrial ‘sorry scientists’. BTG XL

“And so, only in consequence of the fact that in the presences of your favorites of recent centuries the functioning of every kind of data for ‘being-logical-reflection’ crystallized in them began to proceed almost, as it is said there, ‘topsy-turvy’, and as both of these entirely differently sourced informations which reached them appeared to them, according to their ‘bobtailed’ logical mentation, equally plausible, then those beings of contemporary civilization who began in a new fashion to bake, like pancakes, all kinds of separate independent branches of their illustrious science, having fallen during several years into a state of what is called ‘troubled perplexity’, could not in any way whatsoever decide which of these two contradictory theories to prefer and which of them to accept and include in the number of branches of their ‘official science’. BTG XL

“After a great deal of, as they still sometimes say, ‘drying of saliva’, they finally decided, in order that no one should be offended and at the same time in order to have also this branch in their science, to unite into one both of these theories which had reached them from ancient times and which had nothing in common with each other. And a little later when one of them, named Gaidoropoolo, thought out a very long ‘mathematical’ explanation of this misunderstanding, namely, why in one theory there is mentioned the division of the octave into seven ‘whole sounds’, while in the other, into only five ‘whole sounds’, and why and how such an important contradiction had occurred, then these mathematical explanations of his entirely pacified all the corresponding representatives of contemporary civilization so that now, with a quiet conscience, they produce all their wiseacring concerning vibrations on the basis of the ‘mathematical explanations’ of this obliging Gaidoropoolo. BTG XL

“When we were all seated on the floor in the said section of the cave, the venerable Hadji-Asvatz-Troov said among other things that during the period of his investigations he and his friend the dervish Kerbalai-Azis-Nuaran had also occasion to study very thoroughly all the theories existing on the Earth about vibrations made at any time by serious terrestrial scientists. BTG XLI

“He said: ‘We studied the Assyrian theory of the great Malmanash, and the Arabian theory of the famous Selneheh-Avaz, and the Greek — of the philosopher Pythagoras — and of course all the Chinese theories. BTG XLI

“‘In this literature there appeared to be hundreds of theories and hundreds of hypotheses concerning the causes of venereal infection, but I could not discover one convincingly categorical explanation how and why some people are infected with these diseases and others not, and I soon became convinced that I could not clear up this for myself with the knowledge existing on this question at the present time here in Europe. BTG XLII

A man acquainted with the latest theories of poly-dimensional space would say that the world is usually looked upon as an infinite three-dimensional sphere, but that in reality a three-dimensional world as such cannot exist and is only an imagined cross section of another four-dimensional world out of which comes and into which goes everything proceeding around us. BTG XLVIII